I’m baaaaaccckkkk……

 

December 31st, 2017…

New Year’s Eve and was inspired by a new friend today. I have decided to start my writing again. I miss digging deep and getting my words down…so here’s a bit to catch up on and I will soon begin dissecting the last 4 months as well. 

May everyone have a happy New Year. 2018…I am ready for you!! A~

 

May 29th, 2017

I am sitting looking out the window of my Bustang Bus taking in all the different shades of green. The pines peppering the mountains with the clouds billowing overhead, changing from white to gray and little peepholes of bright blue sneaking out. As my mind is racing with all the things to be done these next few weeks it just hits me…like walking into a really clean glass door and being knocked off your feet; I am no longer living in Las Vegas and soon will no longer be residing in Vail. I’m away from the only home I’ve ever known and don’t know if I’ll ever be going back. It’s so hard to explain, it’s such a feeling of feeling disconnected from all I’ve ever known. My mind gets excited with the thoughts of everything that is so new ahead. Vail was a significant detour and a stepping stone, but the real fun is just about to begin. My mind wanders to my fried chicken dinner I had at a new restaurant, Tupelo Honey at Union Station in Denver as I was awaiting my bus departure. At first, I beat myself up for spending too much on dinner but then quickly dream of the leftovers in my backpack & decide to quit regretting so much in my life. Back to the realization that here I am 7 months later in my grand adventure still striving to get to that happy place that brings me peace & joy… Life can be so challenging, and positivity is critical. The unknown is scary but…here goes.

August 7th, 2017

Well, I wrote what’s up above back in May after Kemo Sabe, and I decided it was best to part ways back in April. I still hear Wendy’s words telling me I would soon be calling her thanking her for choosing for both of us as I was too much of a chicken and fighter to admit my unhappiness. Unhappiness sounds like such a harsh word but looking back, even though I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole it really wasn’t working for either of us. Today I sit here on August 7th almost 4 months to the day later where on a regular Saturday in Vail my life and journey would change again. Here I am writing for the second time to really think of what I have learned so far on this voyage. What I know to be true is not only is communication key when things do not seem to be going as you would have anticipated in ANY situation but, also being true to one’s emotions and feelings about something is indeed the only way to keep ones-self happy.

Self Awareness

Of course as one would have it, the last days in Vail, even though stressful, (moving, packing, etc. AGAIN) was very blissful. I did not aggravate myself and rush to leave, I enjoyed as much as one could the month of May and with a few trips to Denver realized this was going to be the place I would call home indefinitely. Of course, just a few days before heading to Denver, I was graced with the presence of two deer only a few feet away from my window grazing on the now green grasses outside my living room windows. It suddenly hit me that even though moving on, the 6 months prior were all worth every moment of the loneliness and what I thought at the time were unhappy moments. I had expectations I had put on the move to Vail, and even though not all ended up like I had thought, I had made good friends with my staff. I enjoyed fantastic food and the beauty surrounding Vail. I even was lucky enough to meet a few of the VIP customers that I believe I will stay in contact with.  I managed the best Western store in the US of A. for 6 months, I learned about fantastic products and met Vendors I could call friends. I may have let some people down, including myself, but I now, 4 months later, look back with nothing but fond memories, no regrets. I have learned A LOT

 

I actually have learned A LOT these past 10 months. About myself, my wants, needs, desires and most of all just continuing on the path of self-awareness and striving to be truly happy & joyful. With change comes adversity, fear, shame, and to get through it all… vulnerability. (I feel like an excerpt of a Brene’ Brown or Oprah website but I’ll say it is how I really feel.) I have been blessed with knowing my capacities in life when it comes to working, but I have not listened to that inner voice when it comes to understanding that being creative in whatever I do when it comes to work is truly what makes me tick and excel. Some of my fondest memories at Kemo Sabe was when I re-did the window displays or a jewelry case. My interactions with the clientele were so significant to me too, and I realize that an industry that is creative with a constant influx of new people surrounding is best. I have understood from the core of my soul that being micro-managed doesn’t work for me and that even though I can be very content with working for the right establishment, my entrepreneurial tendencies always find their way to the surface.

So….now I have new challenges, I have just landed a new job that I have been waiting oh so patiently for, (will announce that soon), have unpacked every last box, have started to enjoy my new neighborhood and have found great joy in being able to see my kiddies again every so often. The road ahead is less traveled, and I do have a lot to be grateful and excited about. So, I will once again dive in and not look down, I will grab those stars and reach endlessly for the sky and all along I will remember who I truly am and what makes me truly happy. I will be vulnerable when I need to be and strong when I need to be, and I will do my utmost to stare my fears in the face and not back down. WISH ME LUCK!!!