Happy Birthday to me…I’m one year old!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

As I finally decide to write today, I pick a clean page without any ripple marks from the residual of too many cups of tea. Today, a day off, or my Sunday if you will, is a Tuesday. I’ve stayed in my pajamas all day sitting on the sofa and reading my winter issue of Bella Grace, my favorite magazine. This magazine always gets me thinking and inspires me to write. After about a three-hour reprieve talking to my Bestie so many thoughts are in my head wondering what I should make my first blog, after Curiosities and Conundrums turning one-year-old all about?

One incident has stayed with me since this past Sunday or as I like to remember it, my Friday.

Superbowl Surprise…

It was a special Sunday as it was the 52nd Super Bowl Sunday and Justin Timberlake, or JT as I call him, was performing for halftime so I was extra excited!! Considering I’ve settled on Hulu, Amazon, and Netflix to satisfy my TV cravings I had to find a place to root for the underdogs, the Eagles.

I decided to visit MY  “JT”, Jacqueline Taylor, at View House where she works where surely it would be a good time as Aaron, Jacki‘s main squeeze, is from Philly and we could all root for them together.

I arrived happy as a clam knowing it would be a great game and bonus from my new king of pop, Justin. Upon entering the bar where Jacki was standing post, I was delighted to have a Scottish gent with the most robust accent offer me his place at the bar, standing and giving me his barstool. Chivalry isn’t dead, and there are gentleman in the world, or are there?

The Super Bowl progressed, and I was sandwiched in between a Scotsman and a quiet soul from Ohio, that work together in demolition, both about my age. Also, there was an overconfident 28 to 30-year-old from the Bronx that was a stranger to us all. Conversations revolved around age, my daughters, as Jacki graced them with a touchdown dance that made quite the impression, all in all, a good time. I was bought my first Bloody Mary and two subsequent beers and even offered to share the shareable nachos. I was okay as we sang and danced to Justin and got to know each other….then…suddenly things started to change.

Conversing with the Scotsman was my favorite part as he was wearing a wedding ring and was safe and was the most fun of the group. Mid-convo I tuned into the conversation on my right between Mr. Bronx and Mr. Ohio and what I heard was hilarious. Mr. Bronx was playing the part of Ryan Gosling talking to Steve Carell in the movie Crazy Stupid Love…being Mr. Matchmaker, Mr. Cupid with such confidence at nearly 28 years young it only shed light on how Mr. Ohio had absolutely no chance. I came to see my daughter and watch the Super Bowl and intended to keep it that way. Mr. Ohio, as handsome as he was, did not have what it took for him to make me feel otherwise about him. Just was not feeling it.  #1-from Ohio, not Denver so why bother, # 2-wearing a duck hunting camo baseball cap, so not me! #3 NO SPARK, so Mr. Bronx was wasting his time. After the kid, Bronx, started asking me my age limit for guys, as he believed he could show me a thing or two, I quickly shared with him that him being younger than two of my kids was a dealbreaker. Flattery was not getting him anywhere. Anybody that knows me knows I can have fun with the best of them. I consider myself a flirt for sure but 95% of the time it’s harmless. Well, tonight sitting at this bar I was about to find out that sometimes men just don’t get it.

Mr. Ohio after enough prodding and coaching from Mr. Bronx decide to go for it. In the middle of a dramatic play by the Eagles, I all of a sudden felt a hand on my back, caressing it back-and-forth. At first, I froze then I did everything I could with my body language to let him know that it wasn’t happening. After a few minutes of uncomfortableness, I got up to use the ladies room. Jacki had gone on break, and I was feeling quite alone. I returned, and it started again, still leaving me speechless with no words and no way of knowing what I should do next. This continued while I squirmed, sat back in my chair, got up and stood, and literally ignored the man like he wasn’t there. At one point he asked, “why are you ignoring me” and all I could muster up to say was, “because I am.” What the hell was that??? Dumbfounded by my lack of courage I was left with no other choice when he laid his hand flat on the small of my back, on my bearskin, to remove it promptly!! I suppose the liquid courage finally hit him as Mr. Timid Ohio was not so timid. I looked for friendship in the Scotsman as he wore a ring and was safe or was he? I would soon find out.

The game was in the final minutes, and the energy in the room was palpable from all the fans as well as what was going on right beside me. As the game came to a close, it was mentioned to “taking the party somewhere else.” I excused myself once again, thanked them for the invite and stated I was going home soon and was going to continue my time with my daughter.

The two demolition buddies left, and I stayed back. Mr. Bronx took it to his advantage of Mr. Ohio going and thought he’d swoon on me with his childish charm and thought he would impress me by asking me the color of my underwear…really are you effing kidding me??? What the hell has happened to the world we live in that a 28-year-old finds it OK to talk to a 52-year-old woman that way? My daughter once again comes to my defense as his crassness got deeper and she warned him for his life, and at that point, it was my cue to go home.

I sprinted to the restroom, hugged and congratulated my kids and exit left I went, leaving Mr. Bronx in the dust alone as he deserved.

Another Surprise…

As I was walking through downtown to my car and played the night back in my head, I did feel that Mr. Scotland was quite the gentleman. He had given me his card, and I decided to thank him for his generosity even though I had insisted on getting my own tab. The text was a heartfelt thank you to the chair, drinks, and food. I was returned a text stating, “it was nice to meet you” and that they headed to the hotel. An invitation was expressed for dinner and drinks another time, and I said goodbye and again a thank you. Just as I thought that was that I got another text. This time inviting me to his room at the hotel and promised a good time. Dammit, the flipping married one now with no apparent care or concern for his wife or ring or yfriend for that matter. I aggravated, responded that I did not go to hotel rooms of men I just met. Of course, I didn’t receive a reply after that.

HELP!!!!

So… do I bear to ask the question…what did I do wrong to experience what I did?? Can a woman not be friendly, enjoy a good football game, a couple of drinks and meeting new people without one pawing me, one disrespecting me and one married and asking me to come to his room? I mean really am I that naïve to think that any man can’t be respectful? Was it being at a bar that did it? Is it taking that barstool in the first place? Was it not having a voice when I first felt uncomfortable and laying down the rules? Is it just not reality?

Once again another conundrum of a 52-year-old single woman. And I wonder why being home sounded so much more appetizing to me. Is there no gentleman left in the world? Is it so much to ask to be respected and not put in the situation I was in? Considering the #MeToo movement and all that is happening in the world you would think men would be a bit more aware. Don’t get me wrong, flirting is ok but when is crossing the line and assuming not ok. So many questions…having three daughters I can’t imagine what they go through. I wonder why my youngest has the thick skin she has being a bartender.

I want, I need, some feedback from the men in my life as well as the women that have possibly gone through similar situations. By no means am I a prude but geeeez is respect that dead?

Please chime in John Sullivan & Armand, my wise brother if you read this…I’d love to hear your take on it.

Now to enjoy the rest of my Sunday…at home alone. Till next time!!